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Engagement Rings Buying Guide

Could anything be a more subjective, sensitive, and chatter-provoking topic than engagement rings?  Put one nervous adult in front of a jeweler, tell him (or her) to drop thousands of dollars on an object smaller than a quarter, and heap on decades of pressure to make the perfect decision. Meanwhile, the bride -to-be may have been dreaming about her ring for years or she may not care. When the question is popped, even strangers are going to want to see "the rock", regardless of whether the happy couple thinks it's a symbol of anything more than tightly packed carbon. Remember: the only ones an engagement ring really has to please are the two people in the engaged union. That being said, only one of you is actually wearing the ring; it behooves you to make sure she loves it.

Shopping

Not everyone can (or wants to) go to Tiffany's  to buy an engagement ring. It is best to ask any married couples you know in your area for good jewelry store recommendations. Feel free to shop around, but no matter what make sure the jewelry store is a member of the American Gem Corporation  (AGC)! If they are not, there is a good chance that your ring has the monetary worth of plastic rings out of a gumball machine at Piggly Wiggly.

Most traditionalists claim that an engagement ring should cost roughly two months' salary. In reality, however, most women would rather have the exact ring they want at just one month's salary than a ring that is mediocre at two months' salary. Don't freak out if the best ring in your price range is less than two months' salary. Most people do not take the two months' salary tradition too seriously these days. And, when you think about it, wouldn't some of that money be great as a down payment on a house  instead?

Believe it or not, the best deal you are going to get on your ring is by bargaining. Jewelry stores,  despite their elegant, sometimes even pretentious, demeanor, are little more than a New York City street fair when it comes to negotiating. Never pay sticker price--they are usually about double what they should be. Compare prices of similar rings at other jewelry stores and challenge them to beat the competition's price. And don't forget, whether you're buying online or in a store, get a certificate and a return policy for the ring. You never know if it will have to be resized, returned, or exchanged and you're going to want some claims of its quality for insurance purposes.

Design

The Stone

  • If you're going traditional, the diamond  is the most important part of her ring. Generally, what you should examine is the stone's cut, color, clarity and carat (The 4 C's). Most couples today opt for the now-conventional diamond ring, popularized by de Beers in the 1940s.
  • There are lots of other choices--colorful gemstones,  such as rubies,  sapphires,  and emeralds,  are becoming more popular. 
    • Princess Diana's engagement ring from Prince Charles was a blue sapphire ring.
    • Emeralds are actually the most expensive stone by weight.
    • Alternatives to diamonds can be seen as a way around the controversy concerning diamond mining practices.
    • Opals  and pearls  are usually avoided because they are softer stones that can scratch relatively easily.
  • Diamonds are a 10 (the highest value) on the Mohs hardness scale ; rubies and sapphires are a 9, emeralds are 8, while opals are around 6.

Metal

There are only a few metals widely available for jewelry :

  • Silver : Inexpensive but tarnishes easily. Not typically recommended for an engagement ring.
  • Gold:  Always a good choice. Look at her wardrobe and the colors she wears often to decide if you want to go with a traditional yellow gold  or a more modern white gold  band. Gold also comes in a rose gold  color, but engagement rings made from this are rare.
  • Platinum : If you want to spend a bit more and get a white-hued ring, this is another choice and has become very popular in recent years.
  • Palladium:  Available now as another white gold alternative.

Setting

There's no right or wrong when it comes to choosing the setting and stone design. Just watch out for a poor setting, as it can snag on a sweater or come loose. Many ladies have personal preferences for their shape of stone, but many don't. If you can get a sense of what to buy beforehand, you'll both be much happier. This kind of investigating will either take a concrete discussion or lots of not-so-subtle prying. But if you're getting married, you're going to have to have important discussions sooner or later, so you might as well practice now. Besides, this is a much better conversation than deciding to buy a house! See a few types of ring settings below.

Solitaire 

A solitaire is a ring with a single diamond that is set to best display the stone. Popularized by Tiffany & Co., this is considered the "standard" engagement ring. Simple and classic, it highlights the beauty of the individual diamond.

Three-Stone 

A three stone ring has (you guessed it) three stones; traditionally there is a large middle stone with two smaller ones of complementary shapes on the side. On some rings, these stones are all the same size. Some rings have different stones framing a diamond, or diamonds framing other stones--sapphires are especially popular.

Fancy Shapes 

Some rings have multiple stones  or bands set with stones.  Pavé  means that a number of small stones have been set close together with little or no metal showing. Channel-set  means that the stones are fitted into a groove in the ring, sometimes close together.

The Size

Jokes aside, size matters to a lady. While the stone's size is up to your judgment, taste, and budget, the ring has to fit her finger, or its no good. In other words, make sure you know her ring size. If you're not going to take her shopping with you, you might have to be a little sneaky when figuring this out:

  • Ask her friends if they know her ring size. (But then your cover may be blown.)
  • Cutely measure her finger with a tape measure. Maybe get down on one knee to do it?
  • Snag a different ring of hers -- one she wears comfortably on her ring finger, preferably -- and either measure it, take it with you to the jeweler, or at least figure out how it fits on you. This way you can show up at the store and say, "Well, I don't know her size, but her favorite ring is just small enough so it won't get over this knuckle, but it comfortably goes over this one."
  • Take her ring-shopping with you, if you want to maximize her happiness with the ring. This will minimize her surprise, but it might be worth it!

The Matched Set

One other factor to consider before buying an engagement ring is whether you can get a wedding band that matches it. Matching engagement and wedding rings,  often known as a "bridal set" , are often quite intricate and very beautiful. This is particularly worth thinking about if you're choosing an elaborate design for the engagement ring. Sometimes the "match" is as simple as two rings with a shared design; the more complicated option is a wedding band  that has a notch in one side, so that it can line up with the diamond in the engagement ring. There are numerous options, from rings that just stack  to rings that physically lock together. Also remember that many bridal sets are priced without including the center diamond  for the engagement ring, so you'll want to keep that in mind for your budget.  See some recommendations below.

Romance Wedding Set 

The Italian Wedding Set 

Tana's 2 Carat Wedding Set 

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DE: Verlobungsschmuck