Wedding Toasts

The engagement party, the bridal shower,  the rehearsal dinner, and of course, the wedding itself -- these are all prime times for toasting. Sure, you need the obvious essentials: champagne  and champagne flutes.  That's the easy party. The toast itself? Not so easy. All eyes are on you, you've got mic  in one hand, champagne in the other, and one shot to make it a memorable moment of celebratory cheers and thanks. Here, tips on how to do it, and do it well.

Pre-Toast Prep

It's always a good idea to take some time pre-party to plan what you are going to say. Even the most gifted speakers can draw a blank when faced with an anticipating audience. Spend some time running your lines in front of a mirror  or with a friend or family member. It'll help you memorize your mini speech and their input can help you spruce it up.  A second opinion may catch a blunder that would have been offensive, negative, inappropriate, or just plain embarrassing for you and the person you're toasting. For example, try to avoid comments that might give granny and grandpa heart palpatations. Beware of sarcastic humor that isn't really as funny to others as it may be to you. And always remember, save the inappropriate jokes for another time --  there are probably young ears in the room and they surely won't get your joke about the first time the bride and groom hooked up in your dorm room at college. Not a good idea.

Who Toasts and in What Order?

Here is a basic suggestion of how to run the toasts. Keep in mind that you can bend the rules as needed to fit in all the people who care to chime in.

• At the rehearsal dinner, the parents, or whoever is hosting, usually makes the first toast to welcome everyone. They may do another later on as well to congratulate the bride and groom.
• The best man is the first to start the toasts at the reception, traditionally toasting first to the bride, following with a toast to the groom. Prior to the wedding, the best man and the couple should discuss the timing of the toast to ensure that everything goes smoothly. The maid of honor can then toast the couple after the best man.
• At this point, it's the grooms turn to return his thanks, first to the bride, then to his best man, the parents, and then to the bridesmaids.
• The best man can then thank the groom on behalf of the bridesmaids.
• If anyone else would like to toast, this is the time to do it.
• Finally, the father of the bride thanks the guests and leads a final toast to the bride and groom so that the party may begin.

What Is Included in a Toast?

Try to make the toast original, and humorous or anecdotal. Don't read from a cheat sheet, and be sure to stand up and speak loudly. Try to let it come from the heart. Speak the way you normally would or else it might come out sounding too contrived. Remember, keep it short and sweet. You only need to speak for one to three minutes. Thank the people who are important to you and express your delight in being included in the wedding. When deciding what to say exactly, sit down with paper and a pencil and jot down ideas that come to mind about the person your are toasting to. What unique points can you tie together to create something meaningful, heartfelt, and preferably with a touch of humor?

External Links

• Top Wedding Sites -- Excellent advice about how to write a toast.
• HItched -- If a poetic toast is what you are looking to create, check this site out for inspiration.
• Bliss Weddings -- A toast generator.
• About.com -- A one liner for everyone in the wedding.
• ForeverWed -- Several articles related to toast and speech writing.