Wedding Invitation Wording buying guide

Wedding Invitation Wording

Wording invites can be slightly -- if not extremely -- tricky depending on your situation. Plus, invitations , being the first thing any of your guests see, is what sets the stage for your entire event. They are certainly more important than save-the-dates . It is therefore crucial that you follow good etiquette and know the ropes of wording your wedding invitations . This guide will give you some insight on where to start, how to play around and make your invites unique, and what to avoid at all costs.

What to Include on the Invitations

There is a basic formula to follow on a traditional wedding invitation . Here is an example with parents, friends, or another family member hosting. Keep in mind that this is a traditional approach and it can be modified to better suit your needs depending on the situation.

(Guests Names)

Mr. & Mrs. John Doe/Jill and John Doe

(Who's Hosting)

request the pleasure of your company

(the request)

at the marriage of their daughter

(the type of relation between the host and the bride or groom)

Jane Belle

(first and middle name of the bride)

to/and

("and" is typically used for Jewish invitations)

Mr. Joe Jason Dedoe

(title, first, middle, and surname of the groom)

at St. Rosalie's Church

(ceremony site)

on Saturday, the seventeenth of July

two thousand and six

(the date)

at five o'clock in the afternoon

(the time)

and afterwards for dinner and dancing

(the reception type)

at the Chateau By the Sea.

(the reception site)

Who is hosting.

This is where invitation wording gets sticky. Depending on who is hosting, you'll need to change the wording to properly represent the invitees. Here are some examples:

Traditional Formal with Bride's Parents Hosting

Mr. and Mrs. John Doe request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter, Jane Belle to Mr. Joe Jason Dedoe at (ceremony location) on (date) at (time) and afterwards at the (reception site).

Swap " request the pleasure of your company " for " request the honor of your presence ". Also try " would be delighted for you to attend" if you'd rather the invite be more informal. You can also try " invite you to join in the celebration " or " invite you to share in the joy ".
You may need to include the time of the reception if it does not directly follow the ceremony.
Note that the bride and groom's middle names are listed, but that the bride's last name is not because it is implicit when her parent's are hosting.

To include the invited guests names in the invitation (so as to avoid any confusion), state that you " request the pleasure of the company of (guests name) at the marriage of ..."
When both the bride and groom's families are hosting you must mention both their names as hosts of the marriage " of their children ...".

Divorced, Deceased, and Widowed Parents

Divorced parents (in the case in which the surnames have remained the same) hosting should be listed as " Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Doe ". If the wife has changed her name, the last name should read as whatever she goes by currently.
If either the father or mother have passed away and the remaining parent has remarried, simply use the original formula. The only catch is with the case in which the father has died and the mother has changed her name, the bride's surname also needs to be included on the invitation.
Should the mother be a widow, not remarried, the invite should read, " Mrs. John Doe requests the presence... "
Be sure to read the guide on Divorced Parents and Step Families at Weddings for more help.

Parents Not Hosting

If the groom's parents are hosting, the invitation should follow the original formula.
If relatives are hosting, state the name of the Mr. and Mrs. and list the bride or groom first depending on whose side the family is from. Follow the original formula for listing surnames and add the bride or groom's last names should they differ from that of the relatives.
If the couple is hosting their own wedding, the invitation should read, "Miss Jane Belle Doe and Mr. Joe Jason Dedoe request the pleasure of your company... "

The bride and groom's names.

Usually the bride is listed first, except in the case that the groom's parents are hosting, in which case the groom's name may be listed first if desired. Note that the surname of the groom is not included in this case, but that the bride's last name is.
A more modern way of stating the bride and groom's names is to call the wedding the marriage of "Jane Doe to Joe Dedoe".

The time, date and location of the wedding.

Be sure to state this very clearly since it's very common for people to misread an invitation. Include the hour, time of day, the day of the week, the date, month, and year.
Write the whole date out (as shown in the example above) or use numbers.
The location needn't include the address unless it is a small unknown venue.
Unless it's traditional, mention what type of wedding you are hosting, whether it be just " dessert and dancing " or " cocktails and cake ".
If the wedding does not include the ceremony, state that the host(s) request the company of the guests at " a reception following the marriage of... "
If you are inviting someone to the reception but not the ceremony, that's okay, but do be sure to only list the reception information. On the other hand, know that it is considered gauche to invite someone only to the ceremony and not to the reception.

The dress code.

If you are having a black- or white-tie affair you will most certainly hope to see your guests in the formal attire that you and your spouse-to-be have envisioned as part of your special day. If jeans and t-shirts are in order, by all means, word your invitation to express the casualness of the affair.
One way to express the formalness is to actually state if the event is a black- or white-tie affair since sometimes the reception site doesn't always speak for itself. Simply add " Black-tie requested " below the main portion of text.
If the wedding attire should be casual, make sure to use less formal wording for the body of the text. For example, instead of saying, " request the honor of your presence " use the phrase, " invite you to share in their joy ".

The guest's name.

Spelled correctly, please.
Be sure to make it clear if you are inviting just the parents, the whole family, kids under 18, etc.
Interested in issues regarding children at weddings? Click here to read about it.

Whether children are invited.

If you don't want children at your wedding, you must be sure to include this detail on the invitation.

In order to make it clear that you are having an 18-and-over, or adults only wedding, do not include the children's names on the invitations or envelopes. Write " Adult Reception " at the bottom of the invitation. Or you may also choose to close the invitation saying, something like so: " We sincerely hope that the two of you can make it! " or " Two seats have been reserved in your names ."
If you wish to invite the children, use the parent's names and also write " and family " to show that you wish for the kids to come as well. Or, use the method stated above and include the number of guests that you expect will come.

Faux Pas

Mentioning gifts or the gift registry . Also avoid mentioning that you'd rather receive cash than gifts. Guests will ask about gifts and it is considered quite rude to include such information on invitations.
Not including postage on the RSVP . Remember that it is you that is inviting them. It is your duty to self address and add postage to the wedding RSVP cards.

Related Products

Inviting Exes to the Wedding	Welcoming Out-of-Town Guests	Divorced Parents and Step Families at Weddings	Invitations	Thank-Yous

External Links

Invitation Consultants -- Children inviting? Parents inviting? Every situation has its wording at this Web site.