Who Pays for What

The old tradition of the bride's parents paying for your entire wedding is no longer a steadfast rule. In fact, the majority of today's couples are financing their own weddings. In the case that they aren't able to fund the festivities, either one or both sets of parents can pitch in. It is not uncommon for parents to fund certain things, from the wedding decorations  and flowers  to the DJ  or photographer.  Usually though, the bride's mother will help out her daughter with the wedding gown  and veil,  and the groom's parents may feel like helping out with the food and drink. Sometimes parents are even are so willing to help out that they let the couple marry at their home, making for a big reduction in overall cost. Nonetheless, the groom usually still pays for the engagement ring  and the bride's wedding ring. 

Here is a rough breakdown of how families manage to finance a wedding when both parties are chipping in.

The Bride Bridesmaids Luncheon Bridesmaids Gifts Bridesmaids Lodging Groom's Ring  Groom's Gift Ceremony Programs  Guest Book  Stationery	Bride and Her Family Engagement and Wedding Photos  Wedding Consultant Ceremony and Reception Bride's Gown,  Shoes,  Accessories. .. All flowers  for the ceremony and reception. Photographer and Videographer Music Transportation Engagement Party	Bridesmaids Bridal Shower  Bridesmaid Dresses  and Shoes  Bachelorette Party

Groom Marriage License Officiant's Fee Groom's Attire  Boutonnieres,  corsages,  and the bride's bouquet.  Bachelor's Dinner Bride's Rings (engagement  and wedding ) Bride's Gift	Groom and His Family Rehearsal Dinner Honeymoon  (very traditional, otherwise it is a cost shared by the bride and groom alone) Thing they might pay for: liquor, a limo,  music,  photographer and videographer.	Groomsmen Bachelor Party  Tuxedo  rentals or purchase. Transportation to and from the wedding.

Asking for Money

For the bride and groom: if you need money and can't handle your wedding expenses yourselves, you may have to bite the bullet and ask mom and dad. Asking the parents for some funding isn't a bad idea if your parent's are willing and able. However, do keep in mind that once you ask for a contribution, that means that they will feel like they are granted liberty in how you spend that money. All of a sudden, their input will become a large part of deciding on critical issues. Hence, it is recommended that if you choose to ask mama and papa to help out, negotiate like a pro.

• Set the ground rules from the beginning. Tell them that if they give you money, it will be used for X, Y, and Z -- as per your desires. Make sure that they understand this is your wedding and that you want things done this way for a reason. Otherwise, it is very possible for them to start picking and choosing for you instead of working with you.
• Understand that "No," can really mean "Yes." If they are adamant about giving you money, consider showing them your budget outline. Maybe that way they will be willing to give you a small contribution to take care of one small element of the wedding. If that doesn't work, consider asking them for a loan. Loans are also great if you feel bad asking your parents for money.

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