Vow Renewals
Vow renewals  give people a chance to reaffirm their love and celebrate in a more care-free fashion than they did on their first big day. The rules are stretched and traditional etiquette gets thrown out the window. You can commemorate this special occasion any time and any place. It can be elaborate with flowers, decorations, a cake, and fancy attire, or it can be as simple as a backyard bash. Either way though, make sure you send invitations. You want your guests to mark their calendars and know that this is a special occasion for you! Here, the how-tos of planning your vow renewals.
Also be sure to see the guide on Writing Your Wedding Vows as it could be inspirational for your second time around.
Why?
People renew their vows for several reasons. - They missed the first wedding. Military leave, elopement, limited time or money, being married abroad -- all reasons couples may not have done it up the first time around. If the urge strikes and they want to do something a bit more celebratory, vow renewals are the way to go. The reaffirmation of vows ceremony can get as big and extravagant as the couple can afford have it.
- They have just gone through a rough spot in their relationship. Sometimes couples have differences so great it seems as if a split is inevitable. Yet, some pull through and work out their problems. Such successes deserve a celebration, which is why many couples opt to renew their vows after a difficult period. These affairs are usually more of the intimate kind, something that allows the two to spend time together and regroup, something more of an emotional and personal endeavor than one involving friends and family.
- They have hit a relationship milestone. Maybe it has been five, ten, twenty, or even fifty years. These big anniversaries are the perfect time to celebrate a lasting love. Invite everyone, have a blast, throw a crazy party, and enjoy. Skip all the fuss and frustration that goes along with a wedding and just throw a bash to have fun and say you love each other again.
When?
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There is no rule about when to renew your vows. You may choose to renew them every year on your anniversary either with a special weekend away or some simple alone time at home. You might renew you vows every five years with the accompaniment of your officiant to make things more official. You may also choose to renew your vows on big occasions, such as a 10th or 25th anniversary, a birthday, or another special time. It's up to you. Just remember that the longer you wait, the bigger the party will be |
Where?
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Where you carry out the vow renewals depends greatly on how the wedding went about in the first place and what you feel like doing now. The location can be simple or elaborate and may mimic the first time around or be the complete opposite. It also has something to do with what size of a party you want to throw. There's a big difference between an intimate vow renewal between the bride and groom and an all out gala. Popular favorites include the backyard, great to throw an informal little bash in honor of your love, an exotic island, where the two of you spend some quiet time together or even with close family and friends, or in a big reception site. The latter is most frequent when the first time around wasn't what you had planned. |
Who Hosts?
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Vow renewals are mostly hosted by the bride and groom since they are probably older and more financially stable now than they were on their wedding day. The couple throws the party in their honor and so it makes sense that they foot up bill. Even in the cases where the couple had the wedding of their dreams, they still usually end up hosting. Times when they don't are when their children decide to host. This is typical when the children are throwing their parents an anniversary celebration. Parents of the couple rarely host vow renewals unless there was a reason that prevented them from having a traditional wedding with the parents involved the first time around. |
What About the Details?
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How does the ceremony work?
You are already married, so there is no paperwork involved since you already received your marriage license and certificate. You don't even have to hire an officiant if you don't want to. You don't have to walk down the aisle either and dad doesn't give away the bride.
The ceremony can take place in a house of worship or somewhere else that you find special. Exchange gifts, new rings, or get a new engraving on the old rings. Exchange the vows you originally said or make up new ones. |
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What to do about attire and decorations?
As with the other aspects of a vow renewal, it is entirely up to the couple. If the event is going to be formal, the attire should be too. If it's casual, likewise, dress appropriately -- and make sure your guests know what to expect. The bride can wear a big, white wedding gown if she wishes (usually the choice if the bride didn't have a traditional gown the first time). However, it is not uncommon for her to wear simpler gown in a color, or something less formal depending on what she wore before, of course. The bride can even wear what she wore the first time!
The decorations are usually simpler for vow renewals unless you missed out on the fun the first time and want to go all out. In that case, enjoy and have the time of your life that you didn't get to have so many years ago |
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Gifts and parties?
Bachelor and bachelorette parties are really not acceptable under any circumstances. Once you have married, nobody can claim to be a bachelor or bachelorette. Bridal showers don't take place either since they are a party based on gifts and wedding gifts are not really part of a vow renewal. The point is celebrating the lasting love, not getting hitched for the first time and starting a home. However, in cases where you are just making up for missing out the first time and the vow renewals are taking place nearly immediately after the original proclamation of vows, creating a gift registry may be allowed. If you have been married only a couple years and decide to just do it all again, gifts are out of the question. Make sure that one way or another you let guests no that gifts are a no-no (just not on the invites). |
Are invitations required?
Having invitations all depends on how formal an affair the "wedding" will be. If it's a bonanza bash with all friends and family invited, then yes. But if it's just the two of you, the answer is clear.
Are honeymoons allowed?
Why not? Even if you did it before, consider it another way to celebrate. Or, make the renewal of vows a honeymoon in itself by planning a destination wedding. Take a trip to an all-inclusive resort or get a wedding package at a hotel. It makes the process special and stress-free. You can even invite friends and family to tag along if you want.
What about photographers andshould there be music?
Document it! You don't need to spend a fortune, but you should have pictures or a video with which to remember this special commemoration. And, if you want to dance you better have some tunes, whether you spin your own or hire a pro.
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