Second Weddings
This guide isn't just for second weddings, it's for any wedding other than the first. If it's your second, third, fourth, read on! Each one will be complete with
flowers
Pre-Planning
Weddings are an event in which couples get a chance to express themselves, have a great time, and share their newfound happiness with the people they love. Just because it's the second time around, doesn't mean this changes. Nobody says that you are required to have a stuffy formal affair if you've gone that road before. Nor does anyone say that you can't make this one of the fanciest celebrations you've ever had if your first marriage was an informal one. The choices are unlimited and yours alone to make. The most important thing is that the wedding you plan be the type that will make you happy.
Start by talking things over with your partner. You should decide on the following things:
- Formality
- While many second marriages tend to be more casual than the first, there is no rule that dictates formality. It's up to and your personality and style. It also depends on what you've already gone through, how meaningful this wedding is, and what your families might expect of you.
- Also, don't overlook the budget . A wedding is a wedding, and the more formal you make it, the more things are going to cost.
- Wedding Size
- Small, intimate affairs with close friends and family tend to be quite popular for remarriages, especially since many people who remarry choose to have destination weddings, but just because you invite very few people doesn't mean that you can't have a formal wedding.
- It's common sense that the more people you invite, the more it's going to cost. Plan your budget accordingly.
- See the guide on Creating a Guest List for more information.
- The Date
- It's good to take your time, both for emotional reasons and for preparation.
- See the guide on Choosing a Wedding Date for more tips.
- Location
- Destination weddings and all-inclusive wedding packages tend to be very popular for second weddings for several reasons. They are small and intimate, inexpensive, hassle-free, and light-hearted and fun.
- Surprise weddings are fun and hassle-free. Plan a big bash at your home or in a reception hall and disguise it as a birthday or other celebration. Then all of a sudden -- you spring the news. No invites, no fuss, no muss.
- Read How to Choose a Wedding Location for advice on where to wed.
- Traditions and Rituals
-
Does the bride wear a white
gown
? Must the ceremony be held in a place of worship? These are all questions that you will come across when planning.
- Do what you feel is most comfortable. Follow these tips as well as your heart and you'll be sure to find the fit that's right for you and your partner.
Common Questions
- Should there be an engagement party? Why not? You are celebrating after all. Host it yourselves at your home or in a favorite restaurant or venue and invite all your important friends and family.
- Should there be a bridal shower? Sure thing. The bride and her gal pals should get together and have a celebration. Only this time, gifts will probably not be part of the party.
- What about the gift registry? Chances are that you and your partner already have plenty of stuff. You might even rather have a sale to get rid of some things. Otherwise, registries can be great for getting a honeymoon or for contributing to your favorite charity. See more about Creating a Registry .
- Civil or religious ceremony? This has a lot to do with personal taste (read up about Choosing Officiants ). However, sometimes because you may have been previously divorced, there may be some restrictions when it comes to religious ceremonies. Read this article at Brides.com about Second Marriage Church Ceremonies for details on the procedures that you'll need to go through to remarry Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, or in an Orthodox Jewish synagogue.
-
Can the bride wear white?
Yes! The bride can wear whatever shade of white best suits her skin tone. However, many suggest that the bride wear a colored
gown
. This is for a few reasons: white is not the most flattering color on most people, most brides marry in white the first time around, and people find wearing white for a second wedding to be a faux pas.
-
One thing the bride might try is wearing a bold, bright shade, while the bridesmaids get to wear white
bridesmaid dresses
-
The bride can even wear a smart
pant suit
-
When it comes to the
veil
, it is usually not acceptable for the bride to wear one since it represents purity and virginity. If you insist though, skip the blusher.
-
How many attendants are needed?
At least two: the maid of honor and the best man. They will act as witnesses for your
ceremony
, whether it is a religious or a civil one. Otherwise, you can have as many as you'd like, keeping in context the size and formality of your wedding.
- Who escorts the bride? If you feel uncomfortable having the bride's father escort her down the aisle for a second time, one of the children or someone close to bride may do so. Likewise, a father may still escort his daughter if she prefers.
-
Children?
If you and/or your partner have children they should be one of the first people to know about the engagement. How you choose to include them in the wedding is up to you. They may be attendants (adults), junior bridesmaids and groomsmen (9 to 15 years old),
flower girls and ring bearers
, pass out programs
, or they can be included in the reciting of the vows.
- Exes? Whether or not you invite them to the wedding is one thing, but if you have children, the ex-husband or wife should be informed about the engagement. Typically, it's best to leave the ex-spouses at home for the wedding since it can make for an uncomfortable situation.
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