Creating a Gift Registry

Ah, the gift registry.  Shopping on someone else's dime sounds like a blast, right? Picking and choosing all those home essentials you'd rather not spend your own money on, but stuff you need nonetheless. Everything from dishes  to towels,  and shams  to shoe racks.  But truth is, it's not all fun and games.  You are essentially dressing your entire home in one shot, and doing it with not one but two of you. With virtually any of your favorite stores offering a gift registry it's easy to become intoxicated by the thought of having your entire home decked floor to ceiling in Crate and Barrel  -- or your kitchen in William Sonoma,  for example. Anything you could possibly want is at your disposal, whether it's for the kitchen, bathroom,  bedroom,  or even a child's playroom.  Nonetheless, you'll need to carefully plan your registry and spend several hours on creating and refining it. Plus, after an initial registration you'll have to keep up the hard work by updating your registries periodically.

Before You Begin

So where does a couple begin? First off, as soon as you send out engagement party invitations you should be thinking about creating a registry since people will already want to be bringing you gifts for the various pre-wedding events. However, before we get into choosing gifts, you have to determine where you are in terms of what you actually need. Are you just starting off creating a home from scratch or do you have a few years cohabiting with your soon-to-be spouse collecting housewares?  Perhaps you have done the wedding thing a time or two already and you are looking for an alternative to the old yogurt maker  and sandwich press.  Either way, look around your place, and decide what stays, what goes, and what you really need to fill out your home.

With that in mind, remember not to be swayed by dazzling store displays and enticing online catalogues. It's far too easy to choose gifts on a whim when you know that you can have absolutely anything you want. Nonetheless, depending on your needs, current living arrangements, and style, you'll be best choosing certain items over others. No two couples will have exactly the same registry, just as no family has an identical shopping list. With careful planning you'll have everything you need to set up house the right way without going overboard and winding up with some wasted kitchen appliance  that you'll never use again. For those who already have enough "stuff" to last them a lifetime and who want to avoid taking the traditional route, don't be afraid to register for a honeymoon or charity registry.  Check the external links section below to learn more.

If you are going the traditional route, here are some things to remember:

Assess your space. Make sure that if you start registering for a ton of kitchen appliances  that you'll have a place to put everything. You may need to register for a standing cabinet  just to store things. You might also want storage for smaller items, like your jewelry  or flatware.  Consider if you'll be moving in the near future. Changing from an apartment to a house means that you'll have much more space, while downsizing to an apartment leaves less room to play with.

Consider your lifestyle. Many people could care less about cooking, while the other half are gourmet gurus. Don't order loads of cooking tools and supplies if you know that you won't use them. Be practical. It's easy to get carried away. Ask yourself, 'Will I really use this?'. If you aren't going to use physical items, register for more experiential gifts,  such as massages,  gift certificates,  or plane tickets. You might also want to create a fund for buying a new car, a home, a computer,  or for sending a child to college. Take advantage of your registry to get items that enhance things other than your home, such as your lifestyle. If you love sports, opt for registering with a sports site so that you and your spouse can go hiking,  kayaking, skiing,  or mountain climbing  together. You might even consider gym memberships or exercise equipment. If you have kids (or hope to) in the near future, consider registering for items that are geared towards a family lifestyle. Always take time to pick items as a couple. Discuss what style you want your home to have and the colors, materials, and other themes that you might want to integrate into your living space.

Be polite and offer variety to your guests. Registry information should NOT be included with invitations.  When people want to know about where they can get you gifts  from, they'll ask. Otherwise, when your friends or family send out bridal shower invitations, the registry information can be listed there. Always send thank you notes  regardless of when you receive a gift. Take no more than two weeks to send a thank you. If people send you money instead of a gift, make sure to let them know where that cash will go. You'll have a wide range of guests at the events leading up to the wedding and at the wedding itself. Not everyone has the same budget. Be thoughtful of people's needs by offering a wide selection of gifts in different price ranges (you'll need to update often). For example, create one group of small items that cost less than $25,  which is perfect for friends, work colleagues, or younger guests with thousands of dollars in college debt to worry about. Average range gifts from $25 to $50 are good for your single pals coming to your wedding and those coming with a partner can choose from larger gifts to give as a joint present ranging from $50 to $100. Some people wish to give more. That's fine too. Choose multiple stores to register with, both large chains and smaller boutiques (usually two to four is plenty). That way guests will be able to easily purchase gifts no matter where they are located. Make sure that phone numbers and/or fax numbers are available for making purchases at online stores in case guests feel more comfortable doing business that way. Keep a long list! Update often! It makes it easier for people to get gifts for you. The more the better. Make sure that the registry can stay in effect until after the wedding so that even those who are forgetful or late can still send you gifts.

Shopping Tips Use a checklist to help direct your gift choices. It reminds you of necessities that you don't want to forget. When you can, go to the store first to feel and see the items you want to register for, and later, use an online registry to stay organized. Take advantage of in-store registry consultants. You'll have to make an appointment with them in advance. Expect to spend about an hour and a half in each store that you want to register with. Ask stores (or check online) before registering with them to see if they have any deals. Some registries will give a discount on items not purchased by guests so that you can buy them at a lower price after your wedding. Consider choosing one store per type of gift you need, such as Linens n' Things for bedding, Cooking.com for kitchenware, and Walmart for appliances. Always do your research before picking out appliances and other home goods. Use the buying guides at ShopWiki.com or other reliable sources of consumer reviews on the Web to learn before you shop.

The ABC's of Starting a Kitchen

There are many checklists that can be found online at Wedding Web sites, however, it can be a little overwhelming. For the basic recommendations, check out our Kitchen and Dining section.

Forget the knife block! It takes up space and gives more than what you really need, which is really just plain unnecessary. Plus, purchasing knives as single units offers more gift giving choices to guests. You can select from the same brand so that they all look the same. What you'll need: A solid, 8-inch chef's knife.  On the second round of registering, pick a 6-inch chef's knife.  A bread knife,  or a long, serrated knife. Later on you might also want a carving knife  or a set of paring knives.  Several small knives with three to five inch blades. You'll use these most often for cutting fruits, veggies, and other small items. Kitchen shears  or poultry shears.  A cutting board  or two.

Mix it up with bowls. You'll need bowls for all sorts of things, from cooking to serving, and in all different sizes. It's great to choose very pretty ones, but keep in mind that dishwasher-safe options are always a better bet. Lightweight mixing bowl sets  are a must-have. Two good serving bowls  are great to accent your dinnerware as are serving platters  (3). A large, lightweight salad bowl,  possibly in wood.

Get cooking. Cookware sets  are much like knife blocks.  They take up a lot of space and they don't always adequately address your cooking needs. The items you most certainly need and should want are: Two or three skillets  of varying sizes, from 6 to 12 inches. A 2-quart saucepan  with a lid is a necessity for small jobs. A 6-quart pot  is needed for boiling water and steaming vegetables. Eventually, you'll probably want a griddle.

Blending, chopping, and slicing. Knives are essential, but sometimes you need a little more umph. A blender  or immersion blender. A food processor  or a mini food processor. A grater.  Slicers or mandolins  are handy if you cook with vegetables a lot. Typically, bakers will lust for a standing KitchenAid mixer.

Making and baking treats. Even if you don't have children, at some point you might want to use the oven for baking or even for cooking certain items. You'll need a few items to make this happen: Cookie sheets  (2). 9-inch cake pans  (2) and maybe a glass pie dish. A rectangular baking pan,  preferably 9x13. Somewhere down the road you might want muffin tins,  a lasagne pan,  tart pan,  or baking dishes.  Pizza fans might enjoy a pizza pan.

At the dinner table. Once you've cooked up a storm you'll want to sit down and enjoy. Don't forget the salt and pepper!  Dishwasher- and microwave-safe flatware  (casual dinnerware) and china  (formal dinnerware) sets for 8 to 12 people. Many people think they don't need all this dinnerware, but things break, you'll have people over, and you'll want to dress up the table for special occasions and holiday affairs. Since china usually is bought piece by piece, feel free to mix and match colors and patterns since it's the trend these days. Serving spoons,  knives,  and forks  are a necessity that most anyone needs, and more so if you like to entertain. Flatware sets, often in silver, are a standard wedding gift.  Wine glasses  area must-have for many, but cocktail and water glasses  are also good to have. 12 to 24 is a good number to aim at for your daily glassware,  and 8 to 12 for specialty barware. Linens come last, including placemats,  tablecloths,  and napkins.

Appliances that matter. Face it: one hit wonders are really not what you need to start off with, so leave the panini press  and rice cookers  off the list unless you are already avid fans of that particular appliance.  More practical multi-tasking items include: A toaster oven.  A blender.  A coffee maker.  A grill.  A microwave.  A tea kettle.

The Rest of the Registry

The kitchen is where most couples start searching for gifts. However, don't forget that you have more than the kitchen  to fill. Below you'll see some common gifts that people pick to decorate the rest of their home. For more ideas about what to register for, check out other peoples registries. You'll see which are the most popular items and which to avoid.

Linens are a must: 4 sheet sets,  a comforter,  blankets,  pillows,  mattress pads,  and bed covers.	Bathroom accessories,  towels  (6 bath, hand, washcloth, and guest), a bath mat,  and electronic toothbrushes.	Electronics including stereo equipment,  CD players,  and computers  are good for people with plenty of kitchen goods.	Home appliances: power tools,  cleaning tools, fans,  irons,  and even luggage  are practical gifts.	Home accessories, like frames,  rugs,  drapes,  artwork,  and lighting, are as important as furniture.

Don't forget that you'll need to stock your bar with barware, including shakers, wine openers,  and decanters.  You might also consider a wine refrigerator.	Holiday decorations  are often neglected when it comes to the registry. Make sure to add them if you feel Christmas just won't be the same without them.	Avid gardeners should think about adding some tools  or exotic plants  and trees to their wish list.	If you and your fiancé love animals or already have pets and don't need other things for yourselves, why not treat Fluffy and Fido? See the Pet Care section for ideas.	Boxed sets of your favorite movies or books are excellent gift ideas when you already have plenty of housewares.

External Links Registry Help The Knot -- A large list of items you'll want on your registry. Organized Registry -- An online checklist with the bare basics. Wedding Channel -- A checklist, but also, several other useful articles with tips on how to register. Alternative Registry Justgive.org -- Many IRS-registered charities to choose from. HoneyLuna.com -- Start a honeymoon registry. I Do Foundation -- Create a charity registry or get charitable invites, favors, and more.

Wedding Registries ABC Carpet & Home Ace Hardware Armani Casa Avventura Barney's New York Bed Bath & Beyond Bergdorf Goodman Bernardaud Bloomingdale's Bridge Kitchenware Calvin Klein Campmor Carson Prie Scott & Co. Ceramica Christofle Clio The Conran Shop Crate & Barrel Cuisinart Dean & Deluca E. Braun & Co. EMS Online Famous Barr Foley's Fortunoff Georg Jensen Global Table Gracious Home Harris Levy Harvey Electronics Hecht's Hermes Home Depot JA Henckels JC Penny John Derian Jonathan Adler Kakula Kitchen Etc. Kohl's La Cafetiere Lenox Leron LL Bean Linens n' Things Macy's Michael C. Fina Moss Mr. Pink Inc. Nautica Nicole Farhi Noritake Pier 1 Imports Pflatzgraff Pottery Barn Pratesi Restoration Hardware Royal Doulton Saks Fifth Avenue The Sharper Image Simon Pearce Steuben Glass Sur la Table Target Tiffany & Co. Williams Sonoma Zabar's