Christmas Etiquette

There are many aspects about Christmas that require you be on your best behavior: cards , gifts, parties, and much more. Below you'll find a variety of topics that you might want to learn more about so that you don't make a major faux pas this holiday season.

Being a Good Guest

Whether you are invited to a Christmas dinner or even a weekend at your beau's house for the first time, it's always good to keep a few things in mind. A gift is always appropriate if you are staying over. Gift baskets ,flowers, chocolates ,wine, or other small tokens of appreciation are a nice gesture to show that you aren't just trying to mooch off of your host's hospitality. If you are attending a dinner, keep the gift simple, but don't be stingy. Feel free to spend up to $50. If you are staying longer, you should opt for something nicer, unless of course, you have a very restricted budget. If you are sent an invitation , whether via the mail, the phone, or email, be sure to return the RSVP promptly so your host can have ample time to plan.

• When you RSVP, consider asking if you can pitch in for the event in some way. While at the host's abode, offer to help out in other ways too. You may do the dishes , clear the table, or help prepare the food, for example.
• Inform your host ahead of time if you have any food issues that might affect the menu, such as allergies or religious requirements, or if you are a vegetarian.
• Arrive well-dressed and groomed. Remember you want to make a good impression, especially if you are meeting potential in-laws.
• As always, do be careful of what you say, and be polite.
• Don't gorge yourself and watch how much you drink. Put on a good show at the dinner table by following protocol (cutting properly, using your napkin , not burping, etc.). Here's a quick Guide to Dining Etiquette.
• Be friendly and chat with others.

Holiday Gifting

Bring a present? Give a little something? Read the tips below and then see the Christmas Gift guides for ideas. If you are attending a party at someone's house, it is nice to take something with you. Usually a bottle of wine  or a food item is perfectly acceptable. If you are staying over at a relative's home or at a friend's place for several days over the holidays, it is a nice gesture to offer them something to show your appreciation. Should you be spending Christmas Day in someone's home, you should absolutely offer a gift, especially if you are bringing them for others who will be attending the event. In the case that a host states "no gifts" on an invitation, it usually means just that. In other words, don't bring anything! Nonetheless, a bottle of wine , dessert or flowers  are still acceptable here.

• If there are kids at a Christmas party, you may opt to get them something.
• As for giving in the office, check with Human Resources to see what the policies are and take into account the tone in your office, as it may affect whether presents are suitable or not. As a ground rule, avoid buying something for a supervisor, as it can be seen as brown-nosing. If you want to give gifts to coworkers with whom you are friends, you may opt to give something small, but try and keep things discreet so that you don't make others feel left out.
• If you receive a gift, show your gratitude even if deep down you don't like it. The person spent the time and money to get you something.

Holiday Shopping

Shopping usually starts out fun and then turns stressful very fast. Everyone is just as keyed up as you are. There is no need to add to it by acting like a grinch  to other shoppers and store employees.  Don't forget that good moods are contagious and make things a whole lot more pleasant. As someone who knows about the retail holiday woes, I can't stress enough to be kind to the workers. It's difficult enough dealing with long lines, pushy people, and glitter in your eyes. Don't get angry with them if the sale ended yesterday. Shopping seems to bring out the worst in people. Please don't wrestle someone to the ground for a toy or push people out of the way for that Black Friday special. Sadly, people have gotten hurt--some have even died--during these crazy sales. Please be safe and smart. When reading about sales, specials, and coupons, read all the fine print very carefully before you scream foul play to store management.

Sending Cards

Sending Christmas cards   is something many people enjoy and others dread. Whether or not you  send cards is really a matter of personal preference; however, should  you choose to participate, it's a good idea to buy them towards the end  of October or beginning of November so that you can get started writing  as soon as possible. Send during the first week or two of December so  that they arrive on time. This is usually a great gesture to make to  friends and family who live far away. Should you be so out of touch that  you no longer have people's addresses, consider sending e-cards: it is  thoughtful when you have no other option. Consider what kind of card to  buy if you have friends of varying religious backgrounds. A  non-denominational card that says Season's Greetings  or Happy Holidays  is usually more universal than a Merry Christmas  or Happy Hanukkah .

Do make sure to personalize the cards if they are going to close friends or family. If the cards are for business associates, something more generic is acceptable. Either way, sign your name on every card and self-address the envelopes .

Parties

General Safety

Perhaps the number one rule of thumb for any type of party is to watch how much you drink. Having some cocktails in celebration of the holidays is totally acceptable; however, going from classy to trashy in a matter of a few martinis  is not. Whether you are at an office get-together or hosting your own affair, mind your manners when it comes to boozing. Nobody likes a drunken host, and showing up the day after your boss has seen you stripteasing by the water cooler  is simply embarrassing, to say the least! This is not just a matter of your reputation, but also a matter of safety.

Besides partying with friends, family, and coworkers, keep in mind that there are many folks you will encounter who are not on your buddy list. Stay safe this season and if you go to bars or clubs, bring along a competent friend or group of pals. This ensures that everyone can keep an eye out for everyone else. Date rape drugs abound and it is not uncommon for people to try and spike your drink. To stay on the safe side, always buy your own drinks, unless you are watching it being poured and handed over by the bar staff. Never leave your drink unoccupied. If you suspect anything fishy, tell your friends or someone on staff in the establishment so that it can be reported to the authorities. Never let a stranger care for you, as they could be a potential attacker in the first place.

Drinking and Driving

• If you plan to invite someone who tends to drink to excess at events, do not feel uncomfortable about speaking to him or her to make sure he or she has a designated driver or the number of a cab company. You might think about collecting everyone's keys at the beginning of the party so you will be able to monitor who is unfit to drive home. Have the number of a driver service onhand, or have guest beds made up, just in case.
• Serve plenty of food so that the focus of the party is not on drinking. Also, limit the amount of salty dishes available since this will help control thirst levels.
• If you serve a punch, consider using juice  as a base instead of soda pop since carbonated beverages facilitate alcohol absorption.
• Be sure to have plenty of non-alcoholic drinks available.
• Appoint a bartender to mix drinks and keep an eye on consumption. If your guests are able to mix their own drinks, they will tend to over-pour, especially as the night goes on.
• Close the bar an hour to 90 minutes before the party ends, and serve dessert  and coffee.

Office Parties

Assume that any office  activity is like an extension of work. In other words, don't act in a way that you feel wouldn't be appropriate in your normal office situation. That means dress appropriately and watch your mouth. Be especially careful when drinking, as the tongue becomes loose. It is easy to let insults or other inappropriate commentary come up when you least expect it. Do be friendly, even with people you don't know well, but beware of flirting. Offer to help out when you can if it is the type of party the staff is hosting. Finally, always thank those who threw the party and make sure to get home safe and sound so that you can make it into work the next day. Read more useful tips from our Office Holiday Party Survival Guide.

Tipping

Don't be a scrooge  during the holidays. If you are traveling, eating out, or enjoying other activities that require someone work on Christmas or Christmas Eve, do try your best to be considerate of that fact. Be generous where you can and show that you appreciate them working hard when they might rather be home spending time with their own families.

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